you are Here
Do you ever get the feeling you're not meant to be where you are?
It's a pretty unsettling feeling I think, feeling wrongly, or unjustly settled.
Because it's not that i don't feel settled, I do feel settled... comfortable - I know my routine. I love the people I surround myself with. And that's nice. But most of the time, especially after I've gotten comfortable with a certain way of doing things, with a set of things I've been surrounding myself with, I have this odd feeling that I need to do something drastic soon if I want to make myself truly happy. And that... well, that is scary, no? Especially since I've just come back from an entire 4 months in South America. I went there thinking it would open my eyes to where I want to be. But it just didn't. I learned and lived differently and I met beautiful people and saw incredible things. But here I am, 4 months later, wondering the same things as before.
I try to narrow it down:
For one, I need to move somewhere with mild winters. Bare legs in the cool winter sunlight??
Haha, kidding. But aren't these pictures lovely? Cold weather-bearers, don't they break your heart?
BUT back to the issue. The weather is fine. Suburbia is cloistered. My car can take me places but I'm still tied to everyone. It's not that I want to caste off my loved ones and go off somewhere on a journey. Well, maybe I'd love to go off somewhere on a journey. (Didn't I just come back from one of them?)
This is the clincher .. since when did having people you love become a burden to enjoying life, or at least going after what might make you enjoy it more, live it to the extreme, pursue something extraordinary? What a horrible thing, right? It's like this: I want to go somewhere and be surrounded by electric people. I want to be in a place that buzzes with inspiration and newness and life and, well, I haven't gotten there yet. I love the parks, I love my summer afternoons spent lazing in backyards. I love my slow mornings and I love ending nights-out on couches giggling with friends. But it's like I have this itching sensation that I can do more,
just not here,
What am I looking for?
What are you looking for?
I'm accepting requests/suggestions.
credits knight cat, the vintage society, amlul, theskullset